Relationship Realness

I feel as though relationships are glamorized and romanticized more than they should be.  Yes, being in a relationship is very rewarding and amazing, but - just like anything else good in our lives, it's a lot of work and comes with its challenges.  

Not to sound like a pessimist or anything, but I wish someone had told me what the challenges were of being in a relationship so that I could have been more prepared - lol! But then again, can anyone really, truly be prepared? Anyhow, the beginning of the relationship was very carefree, but once we started aligning our lives together that is when I realized that learning to live and build a life with another person was going to take a lot of work and a lot of compromise.

The way that I grew up was different than the way my partner grew up; therefore, it is not a surprise that he has different values, goals and ideas for the future.  With that said, learning to support him in his endeavors and vice versa are so integral to nourishing our relationship.  I gotta say though, this isn't as easy as it seems.  I sometimes impose my ways of knowing or doing things onto him and I've come to realize that this isn't good for our relationship.  Relationships are all about give and take and having equal parts in the compromise that it entails.  I've learned that although it is important to make decisions that are best for us as a couple, we also need support each other in our own individuals endeavors outside of the relationship.   

Living with my partner has been an experience that has provided me with the opportunity to reflect on myself as a person and has allowed me to grow in ways that I would not have, had I not been in a relationship. I never realized how much my past experiences molded my fears around being in a relationship until I was fully enveloped in one.  To be completely honest, the main reason I decided to seek the assistance of a psychologist was so that I could not only heal myself, but be able to nourish my relationship as well.  Unknowingly, I was projecting my fears onto my partner and this wasn't fair to him or our relationship so I decided to get the help I needed.  I'm not saying that I have fully mastered my fears and am totally over it but I am better than I was and it is improving my own mental health, as well as my relationship.  

The struggle to let go of control and truly let one self love completely and fully can be difficult and scary, depending on how your past experiences have affected you.  With that said, being in a relationship with the right person who is understanding and patient can make it easier.  Love in itself is a process, and although it can be difficult at times - we need to trust it. Having someone stick by your side, especially through the bad times is a true indication of how much they love and care for you and that is the biggest reward about being in a relationship.  

I feel blessed for the fact that my partner is one of the kindest, most caring and patient people I know.  After three years of being together, my partner is now my family, my best friend, and my favorite person to spend time with.  Whether we are chillin' and watching TV, or out and about on some adventure... I love being with him and creating memories with him.  Yes, there are challenges... but when you care for someone unconditionally - you'll always find a way to overcome those challenges and create a stronger bond from it.  I'm lucky to say that this has been the case for myself, and Michael.

Nothing good in life comes easy and everything worth something is going to take a lot of work (that includes any and all relationships).  Remember that!

I will leave you with a quote that truly resonated with me:

"no one, no matter how much you care about them, can meet the criteria of your conditions.  So love them unconditionally."  - Abraham Hicks

-Sea To Sky,  Squamish, BC-

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