From Resentment to Forgiveness

I feel like at some point in our lives, all of us have felt resentful towards someone or a situation.  Some might feel more resentful, others not as much.

In my most recent counselling session, my therapist confronted me with a lot of s*&%.  The amazing thing about counselling is that it is allowing me to become more mindful of the issues causing me anxiety, but it's also hard because... I don't know how to go about changing these thoughts and feelings that have become so normalized within me.  During this session I realized that I am feeling resentful about the things that have happened in my life and towards the people who were a part of the pain that I experienced in the past.  The weird thing is, I'm not sure I was aware that I was holding onto this until I hashed it out some more.  To be honest, I don't even think I realized it was "resentment" because it is something that has been out of sight and out of mind for a very long time.  Unconsciously, however, that negative energy still resides within me, hence... one of the contributors to my anxiety!  

This whole thought around resentment really opened my eyes around the effects that it has on our mental health.  Holding onto this negative energy doesn't affect the other person or the situation at all... it solely impacts us and us alone.  We are negatively impacting our own energy over another person or situation! Think about that for a minute... it doesn't feel right to do this to ourselves, does it? Why do we punish our own selves for the things that another person/situation has done to make us upset? When you think of it this way, it sounds kind of messed up, right? HUMANS, WHY?! We need to change this!

I feel like it's easier to feel resentful than it is to forgive.  But, if we change the way that forgiveness looks then I think it can be so healing to our mind, body and soul.  When we look at forgiveness, we are normally looking to forgive the other person.  In this case, we want to look at forgiving in a way that gives US peace of mind.  It is easy to focus on the negatives of the situation, but I think if we try our best to focus on the positives of it then we can heal much faster as opposed to holding onto the resentment. Working on healing that conflict within our own selves is the key to achieving total and complete peace of mind.    

Personally, I try my best to be empathetic towards the person or the situation at hand. I try to view things from their perspective so that I can come to a place of understanding.  It takes a lot of energy to put my own thoughts to the side and see it from the other perspective, but I think it is important in order to come to a place of healing.  I haven't completely mastered this yet, but it is something I am working on improving.  I have my stubborn traits that make it difficult for me to pass some of my own mental barriers, but working on breaking those barriers is going to be the key to the healing of my entire self.  

Have you ever felt resentful about anything in your life? When did you notice that this was only affecting your aura, and no one else's? Did you realize the negative impact that it truly had on you? What did you do to resolve this conflict within yourself? 

Please get in on this discussion and share your experiences.  

-Battle Bluffs, Kamloops BC-